British English vs. Malaysian English

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS

Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians: No stock.

RETURNING A CALL

Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians: Hello, who call?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY

Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians: S-kew me.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION

Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysians: (pointing at the door) Can ah?

WHEN ENTERTAINING

Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysians: No need shy shy one lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE

Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER

Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind...

Malaysians: Don't want lah.

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.

Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.

Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment..

Malaysians: Die lah!!

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG

Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.

Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY

Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?

Malaysians: Celaka you!

Kenapa Kite Dilarang Menggunakan Handphone Ketika Mengisi Minyak?????.....

meh kite tengok ekspiremen sains kat bawah nie...untuk buktikan betapa bahaya nyer isi minyak sambil berbual atau sms pakai handphone... sebelom tu, kite sediakan bahan2 serta alatan yang diperlukan.. Iaitu :- 1. Kuali sebijik...cari yang leper tu... 2. 3 bijik kad..kad manila pon buleh..tapi jangan pakai mycard, kad kredit ataupon kad ATM, mahupon sim card... 3. 1 rol kertas foil...kertas timah tu laa....yang macam bungkusan kedua corn flakes tu laa... 4. Handphone sebijik...dan pastikan gak ade kredit... 5. Minyak petrol sikit..kalo xnak beli kat stesen...curik jer kat moto abang, ayah atau adik korang... PASTU..... susun kad tadi lebeh kurang macam nie... letak plak kertas foil tu atas kad tadi.. letak petrol ckit... TIBA-TIBA api menyala !!! peringatan,anda dinasihatkan untuk tidak mengunakan handphone ketika di stesen minyak..... Sebarkan kepada semua orang yang anda sayangi... Bersama-sama kita saling ingat- mengingati.

The Great Magician

Cyril: Simply Magic

November 2009

By Joe Hizul

Cyril: Simply Magic

Can magic change the world? That’s what Cyril Takayama intends to find out.

Cyril, born of a Japanese father and a Moroccan-French mother, is best known in Japan for his street magic performances, in the same vein as that other, better known street magician, David Blaine. Mention street magic around, and chances are, Blaine’s name will crop out more often than Cyril’s. Hardly surprising since Blaine’s TV series has aired world wide since 1997, whereas Cyril is well-known only in Japan and on the WWW. But thus said, Blaine is more famously, or some would say infamously, known for his outrageous and outlandish endurance acts, while Cyril just do very simple but entertaining and cool street performances, which many fans says simply trumps Blaine off completely.

Netizens certainly will need no introduction to Cyril as he is quite popular on-line. He is also very big in Japan, in fact he’s so popular there that it was reported that to go out, Cyril need to wear disguises. A lot of his performances are readily available on You Tube, and I must say, they are quite entertaining. One of Cyril’s signature tricks is having his head fall off his shoulder, and this he does so convincingly that the first time I saw it, it gave me goose bumps.

Cyril: Simply Magic marks Cyril very first TV special made outside of Japan, and will attempts to give international TV audiences this best kept (magic) secret from Japan. In this TV special, Cyril will not only share his amazing magic skills, but bring along viewers on a journey of self-discovery.

Here, Cyril focuses on the idea that magic can affect people’s lives positively, that it’s more than just entertainment. Cyril will prove that magic has the potential to bring happiness, and through happiness, brings hope. Watch as he interacts will all kinds of people from all walks of life. Share his desires; his insights; his dreams… stuff that you won’t see on You Tube.

At the start of the special Cyril asks, “Can a flip of a card change lives? Can an illusion change emotion? Can magic change the world?...” . Find out for yourself in this 3-part TV special. You be the judge.

As Cyril keeps on saying, Anything can be real!. I couldn’t agree more.

Church attacks: Voices from Malaysia

(BBC News) Several Christian churches have been attacked since Friday in Malaysia in a dispute over the use of the word Allah by non-Muslims.

A High Court ruling overturning a government ban on the use of Allah by non-Muslims has raised concerns among Muslim groups that by using a name so closely associated with Islam, Christians are trying to win converts.

Here, Muslims and Christians in Malaysia discuss the issues behind the attacks.

Pat Lu, web consultant, Kuala Lumpur

I am one of the administrators of a Facebook group which calls for everybody in Malaysia to be allowed to use the name Allah. The group has been growing rapidly in the last few days and we now have more than 68,000 members.

Because of the Facebook group, people take me as a leader, so I've received many calls and messages from Christians from all over the country saying how concerned they are about the attacks.

Because violence triggers more violence we are discouraging all Malaysians, irrespective of ethnicity and religion, from joining any street protests. It's better to participate in a cyber rally and have a dialogue online.

This has never happened in Malaysia before - attacking places of worship. Ours is a multi-cultural society, we've always lived in harmony.

The government should take responsibility for what's happened. They should not mix religion with politics and they should allow people to practise their faith. It's none of anybody else's business how I call my God.

Hussin Zin, retired company manager, Petaling Jaya

I appreciate the concerns of some Muslims in Malaysia, but I do not condone violence. The general view here is that this is the work of extremists. Malaysian Muslims are peaceful people, we are not of the terrorist kind.

We enjoy religious tolerance in Malaysia and different religious groups celebrate their festivals together.

There are fringe elements in every society. I am not so concerned about the attacks, but about the way the government is handling this issue.

Instead of banning the word in a Christian journal, they should have pushed for an inter-religious dialogue and invited religious groups to discuss and come up with a solution.

Everyone's been talking about this issue in the last week or so and there has been a strong reaction and many different views.

Most Muslim people, especially those who are well educated, are open-minded. The name "Allah" is used by Christians in the Middle East. Why should there be a problem? It's between you and God.

Nordin Abdullah, businessman, Kuala Lumpur
There is a concern in the country that Muslims could be misled and confused with Christians using Allah to address God. There are concerns that certain Christian groups are trying to convert Muslims this way.

Many Muslims will agree that it's not the use, but the misuse of the word. "Allah" means one, undividable God. It becomes misleading when used outside its historical context.


It's against Islamic teachings to attack churches and I am sure the majority of Malaysians don't think it's acceptable
The main problem is the idea of Allah having a son - this is not the original context of the word.

Whatever the views on this subject, nobody wants to see any kind of tension, whether it's ethnic or religious. The attacks on Christian churches are not the right way to respond to the issue. They are not very Malaysian. Differences should be resolved through an open discussion, not violent attacks.

It's interesting that these attacks are happening at a time when our prime minister is promoting the idea of "One Malaysia", where the emphasis is on the common ground, not on ethnic or religious divisions.

I don't know if this is a coincidence, but it seems strange that this tension is happening at a good time, when things are beginning to get better for everyone.

No-one seems to have the answer. If you ask me - these attacks are not organised, they are not part of something bigger. It's stupidity and it's against Islamic teachings to attack churches and I am sure the majority of Malaysians don't think it's acceptable.

Waihon Liew, university lecturer of global religions, Rawang

The attacks are very sad because we have managed to live harmoniously in the past. I was a bit nervous that they could escalate and get bigger, but I am happy that didn't happen.

The government is taking a lot of security measures around places of worship and I don't feel scared about going to church. Our government is doing the right thing, they are looking to promote dialogue and better understanding of religious issues.

I believe there might be a different agenda behind these attacks, not necessarily to do with the religious issue. It's still early to make a final decision, but it's possible that behind it are people who do not want to see the country as a tolerant and harmonious society. But this is a small group of people.

I think the government is in a tricky situation, it is not an easy task to govern a multi-racial society and it's not possible to please everyone. We need to find a middle ground, we need to cultivate peace and harmony, but we don't want to compromise in terms of religious doctrine.

The name Allah belongs to Judaism, Islam and Christianity. Some Muslims may not even realise that it's been used long before Mohammad by Jews and Christians. Allah cannot be called anything else.

http://www.malaysia-today.net

Mr.Bean - "The library" 1990

NNEY Favourite

May I please borrow RM 25?

A woman came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find her
5-year old son waiting for her at the door.

SON: 'Mummy, may I ask you a question?'
MUM: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the woman.
SON: 'Mummy, how much do you make an hour?'
MUM: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the
woman said angrily.

SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
MUM: 'If you must know, I make RM 50 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: 'Mummy, may I please borrow RM 25?'

The mother was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money
to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room
and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The woman sat down and started to get even angrier about the little
boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the woman had calmed down, and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that RM25 and
he really didn't ask for money very often. The woman went to the door of the little boy's room
and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' She asked.
'No Mummy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the woman.
'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you.
Here's the RM 25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you Mummy!'
he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The woman saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.
The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his mother.
'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the mother grumbled.
'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.

'Mummy, I have RM 50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?
Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The mother was crushed.
She put his arms around her little son, and she begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip
through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us,
those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that RM 50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us
in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for
the rest of their lives.

Be very careful when playing near waterfalls.